I am woman, hear me... worry

On a recent evening, I worried about the following things within 10 minutes:

Samuel's flat head
SIDS
Samuel will never learn to crawl
Dan will die
Dan will die from heartburn
Dan's heartburn
Dan's teeth
Our diaper issues
Disposable diapers
Buying diapers

Also, that night, I dreamed I was pregnant with a 12 lb girl.

I am an excellent worrier.

Girl Scouts

Girl Scout cookies aren't bad. But they're not great, either. They're a mediocre cookie, the likes of which the Keebler Elves and others also make. But you can only get Girl Scout cookies once a year, and that makes them taste so much better. Clever little girls...

More on motherhood

My posts on babies, etc are now at my other blog:

Momma's Cookies

Motherhood, Week 4

• Maternity pants don't have zippers. Real pants do. Remember that.
• I don't have the magic. Daddy, friends, grandma, the car, the pacifier - they have the magic. I just have milk. When do I get the magic?
• Yeah, throw away the book. Sometimes, I need sleep. Pacifier it is.

Motherhood, Week 3

• Week 2 was rough. Week 3 was better.
• A sweet family moment is only complete when accompanied by a nice, juicy fart.
• Nothing makes diaper changes exciting like the fabled trifecta: a fountain of poo (orange), stream of pee, and a nice dribble of spit-up.
• Car rides really are magic.
• I'm really starting to like this guy; now he is more than just a hungry poop factory.
• Holy crap. I have a son.

Motherhood, Week 1

• Despite my limited options, I still don't know what that stain is on my shirt.
• Nothing has taught me how selfish I really am like having a baby. And nothing (not even pride) is more difficult to purge than that selfishness.
• I am no longer afraid of the word 'penis.' I say it all the time: 'Look at your little penis!' If I was so inclined - that is, if I suddenly regressed to being 14-years-old - I could beat anyone at the penis game. I'll do it now. PENIS!
• Baby powder, baby lotion, baby shampoo - they all smell fantastic now.

Man terms

Dan has his own way of referring to pregnancy terms:

Boppy pillow = boob pillow
Braxton Hicks contractions = Bose Higson contractions (not to be confused with Higgs Boson...)
Meconium = Midichlorian

Among others...