Motherhood, Week 1

• Despite my limited options, I still don't know what that stain is on my shirt.
• Nothing has taught me how selfish I really am like having a baby. And nothing (not even pride) is more difficult to purge than that selfishness.
• I am no longer afraid of the word 'penis.' I say it all the time: 'Look at your little penis!' If I was so inclined - that is, if I suddenly regressed to being 14-years-old - I could beat anyone at the penis game. I'll do it now. PENIS!
• Baby powder, baby lotion, baby shampoo - they all smell fantastic now.